Life

This Rap Is the Perfect Anthem For All Dog Moms

This Rap Is the Perfect Anthem For All Dog Moms

Anthem for all the women who love taking care of their pups like LADY BOSSES. To download the track go to the playlist below, right click the blue text below to open the file in a new tab and then hit the download arrow!

Dog Mom Anthem Track:

Written and Performed by: T-Spoon and ZZtophalf

Audio track and mixing/sound engineer: Billy Conahan

Produced by: Lisa Bernier + BARK

Video produced by: Katie Heller, Zoe Costello, Katie Kirnan, Wheaton Simis, Tim Skinner, Ally Nesmith, Lisa Bernier, Stacie Grissom + BARK

Edited by: Gen Liu

Video:


To grab some of the dog lady swag featured in the video, check out the Dog Moms collection on BarkShop!

Lyrics:

Wake up in the morning my dog’s on a routine
Walk him in my jammies don’t care if I’m seen

Covered in fur, poop bags in my pocket
I know I look good so don’t get a red rocket.

Casually strollin with a turd in my hand
Wondering where the hell’s the closest trash can

Peeing everywhere Brooklyn Bridge to the Rockies
He’s Markin’ territory – s’what we do on our walkies

Never leave the house without my lint roller
Hell yea I got a geriatric pug in this stroller (Kirnan with Noodle in a stroller)

His instagram is popping I don’t mean maybe
He gets more likes than my sister’s baby

If you’re a dog mom here’s your camera roll
It’s just my dog’s face no matter how far you scroll

Storage is full? I’m like, psh, Siri please.
That’s why I rock him on my wall, shirt and keys

CHORUS:
If you’re a dog mom, put your hands up
This song’s for all the ladies who provide for their pup

When you’re a dog mom this is what you do
Cause they say you’re not my baby and I know it ain’t true

Went to the vet cause her poop was volcanic
We put her on a diet now that shit is organic

Bought him elevated bowls I’m a boss breadwinner
Now he doesn’t strain his neck while he’s eating his dinner

Toys & chews that’s where I’m throwin’ my paper
Don’t forget treats! It’s turkey-duck flavor

We poppin’ bottle service at the dog-friendly joints
if i cant bring my dog then I just don’t see the point

Here’s an invitation and don’t be tardy
I’m goin’ all out for my dog’s birthday party

Show up lookin fly & we’re sippin’ on Titos (Zoe)
She’s the life of the party: “And her paws smell like Fritos!”

CHORUS:
If you’re a dog mom, put your hands up
This song’s for all the ladies who provide for their pup

When you’re a dog mom this is what you do
Cause they say your not my baby and I know it ain’t true

Feeling mad pride when he rips out the stuffin’, i even give props when he doesn’t do nuthin
*spoken* You’re amazing

On my nanny cam while I’m in a board meeting,
Wonder what she’s doing “OH GOD WHAT ARE YOU EATING”

Reunited coming home, yo that shit is sacred
When i take off her collar, it looks like she’s naked!

So bomb at belly scratches, i’m like a dog masseuse
And I know he ‘ppreciates cause he brings me his Moose!

Don’t need a man when i come home
Cause my bed is a literal bone zone.

Fall asleep to the sound of you licking your parts
But you wake us both up when you’re scared of your farts

Can’t wait to wake up and do it over again
Say it with me now: DOGS ARE WOMAN’S BEST FRIEND

Ha! Ha! We out!
But we immediately want to come back in again.

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